Keys to Confidence on Stage

We are almost at the end of the Over-the-Shoulder (OTS) series, in which we have been exploring the steps to take when putting together and delivering an impactful talk.

Confidence on stage greatly affects how well your message is received. A powerful example is Donald Trump. What he says is often senseless, ignorant, or just plain nuts, but he says it with such confidence that people listen. Some who are not as confident will believe what he says simply because they almost worship his confidence level.

Now, I am not suggesting you become Donald Trump. -Please, no!

But he is the best illustration of the power of confidence.

The Elements of Confidence

I believe confidence can be distilled down to a few important inputs.

1. Preparation

2. Psychology

3. Physiology

4. The Escape Hatch

Today, we will explore these, and my goal is to give you some specific actions you can take to enhance your confidence to maximise the impact of your message on your audience.

1. Preparation

I am not going to spend time on this. Basically, Confidence comes from competence. If you have done what we have already discussed in the previous 8 OTS issues and have used the Oral / Aural process for memorisation, then you have prepared for this and should be ready to focus on the other aspects of confidence.

The key to preparation is to know your talk so well that you could be woken up in the middle of the night, told a couple of lines and continue on.

This is hard to appreciate until you have experienced it. When you know your talk so well that you can repeat it in your sleep, you remove most of the stress of public speaking when you are on stage.

Your mind is then free to connect with the audience, to ‘play’ as it were. It is the most freeing and empowering experience. -An experience I believe everyone should have at least once in their life.

2. Psychology

Your focus is a key aspect of your confidence. In the wider scope of things, this means being clear on who this talk will serve and how it will serve them. What can you do for your audience or for the people who will be served by your audience listening to this talk?

Typically, as soon as a speaker starts thinking about themselves while on stage, they will start to lose focus and get nervous. The key when you realise this is happening is to pick someone in the audience and focus on them as you continue your talk. Focus on getting them to understand or feel your message. As soon as your focus shifts from yourself to your audience, your nervousness will start to diminish.

3. Physiology

It is important to be well hydrated before taking the stage, but do not drink for 30 minutes before taking the stage. When taking the stage, you want to be upright, head up, and walk confidently to the place you will be speaking from. When you get there, you want to pause, looking over the crowd with a smile. Take your time to feel comfortable in this spot before starting to talk.

Take a deep breath before you begin. And at any time you feel nervous, pause and take a deep breath. Notice any part of your body that you are tensing up and consciously relax it.

4. The Escape Hatch

This is the last line of defence we used for speakers at TEDxRuakura, and it proved to work well. Before I describe The Escape Hatch, I need to explain what happens when you lose it on stage.

Psychologically, when we freeze on stage, it is often the result of a mental loop. This is where our thoughts cycle from one concern to the next and back to the beginning again. It might look something like:

“The audience seems awfully quiet/restive/disinterested” -> “I wonder what they are thinking” -> “If I forgot what I was going to say next, how would they react?”
-> “The audience seems awfully quiet/restive/disinterested”.

Usually, when this happens, it is so fast that we are barely conscious of the complete cycle; we just get caught in the loop. The loop will continue, and we will freeze unless we can break it, which is where The Escape Hatch comes in.

At TEDxRuakura,, we would set up a small table at the edge of the stage with a jug of water and three overturned empty glasses. We drilled our speakers so that if they felt they were in a loop, they would give a little cough, announce that they needed some water and proceed to the small table.

The act of turning over the glass and pouring water into it in front of 350 people requires focus. This mechanical focus activates a different part of the brain, which immediately breaks the loop. This works like magic. After taking a sip, the mind is suddenly clear, and as the speaker returns to the red dot, they are back on track. This is helped by the fact that our speakers have their talks well memorised.

This was not often used, but when it was, it proved effective, and the audience members I questioned during the break didn’t even recall the interruption, which was, of course, edited out of the video.

Conclusion

Confidence is a critical part of an impactful talk, but it is not capricious. Confidence comes from a set of proven actions. Both mental and physical techniques can influence your confidence, but preparation is the most powerful thing. This includes the preparation for your talk and the preparation for your confidence, including the steps you will take if you find yourself in trouble.

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Unpacking Wisdom is a weekly section in which I explore a famous (or not-so-famous) quote and how it applies to the Compelling Communicator.

This is a lofty quote on the rights of man, but I want to look at it in another context—in the light of surrogacy. All of us live our lives vicariously at times. We do this when we watch a movie, imagining ourselves as James Bond or perhaps as the dangerous and alluring femme fatale.

You must realise that when you give a talk, entertaining your audience means allowing them to live vicariously through the stories you share. You share one person's story that can then be lived or experienced by many.

But this is more than mere frivolity. Because this is the key to passion, when you share the outrage of one, you can inflame the outrage of many. When you show the triumph of one, you can inspire the triumph of many. When you share the empathy of one, you can incite the empathy of many.

In a way this is what JFK was doing when he shared this quote.

You should keep this in mind when crafting the stories you will share in your talk: stories that impart a concept but, most of all, express an emotion that the audience can feel and resonate with.

What I am up to this week…

Professionally:

I have some Instructional Design work coming in. I spoke at another virtual event over the weekend and have been asked to speak at more upcoming events.

Recreationally:

I had a movie night at a friend’s last weekend and enjoyed watching the 1972 movie Fear is the Key. It had me riveted, which was surprising.

A film I am producing may take a turn from short to feature, which will be a big step.

What I am watching:

I watched Buried with Ryan Reynolds, a movie I had never seen. It was extremely well done. One person in a box—that is the movie.