Communicating Your Goals

Happy New Year! I hope you've had a chance to unwind and recharge. As we step into this fresh chapter, you might find yourself with a renewed sense of purpose. Maybe you've set some New Year's resolutions or have a few aspirations in mind. Or perhaps you've taken this time to reflect on your business or personal life, setting some concrete goals that go beyond the typical resolution.

No matter where you stand, one common challenge is figuring out how to communicate these goals effectively to others.

It's a bit of a minefield, isn't it? What do you say? What do you keep to yourself? Do you shout it from the rooftops or keep it under wraps? There's a lot of conflicting advice out there, and today, I want to explore this topic with you. It's worth considering how you'll handle these conversations because, let's face it, they're bound to happen. Whether it's at the start of the year when colleagues ask about your resolutions or during an annual review at work, these discussions will pop up. So, let's dive into some strategies for communicating your goals effectively.

First, let's discuss the benefits of sharing your goals. One of the biggest advantages is accountability. When you tell someone about your goals, you're putting your ego on the line, which can motivate you to follow through. I learned this firsthand when I was involved in Kyokushin Karate. I had to tell people early that I was entering a tournament because it pushed me to train hard and not back out. I couldn’t let down others in the club who were also training for the tournament, no matter how afraid I was of stepping into the ring for a bare-knuckle full-contact fight. Sharing your goals with the right people can provide that extra push you need.

However, it's crucial to be selective about who you share your goals with. Not everyone will understand or support your aspirations, and that's okay. You don't want to seek accountability from those who might undermine your efforts. It's about finding the right circle of people who respect and support your journey.

On the flip side, there are times when keeping your goals to yourself is the better option. Sharing them with the wrong people can deflate your motivation, much like a punctured tyre. It's important to be mindful of who you share your goals with and to protect your aspirations from negativity.

I highly recommend you think through this beforehand (like right now): Who do you feel comfortable sharing which goals with?

Now, let's discuss how to articulate your goals. It's easy to fall into the trap of using soft language when talking about your goals. Phrases like "I might try to lose some weight" can undermine your commitment. Instead, use strong, clear language that reinforces your intentions. For example, "This year, I will get my weight down to 89 kilos." Practising how you express your goals can help you stay true to yourself and boost your confidence.

We tend to use these softeners for social reasons. We don't want to come off too strong or appear aggressive or obnoxious. The problem is that what we say becomes part of our identity, of who we are. This is the foundation of using affirmations: to shape our identity.

Above all, avoid using the word 'try' when talking about your goals with others. Brian Tracy talks about this at length. Try is a psychological 'weasel word' that tells your brain to ignore what you are saying because you won't do it. Imagine that every time you use the word "try," you end the sentence with "...but I know I never will."

Because that's how your mind understands it.

So if you say, "This year, I will try to lose some weight." 
What your brain hears is: "This year I will try to lose some weight, but I know I never will."

To me, the best use case for affirmations is actually practising how you will answer others when asked these questions because it reinforces who you are in front of others, which has a huge psychological impact.

Remember, when people ask about your goals, they're often more focused on their own responses than on your answer. So, don't worry too much about their reactions. Focus on expressing your goals in a way that aligns with your identity and gives you the best chance of success.

In conclusion, whether you choose to share your goals or keep them private, the key is to be intentional about your approach. Consider who you share with and how you articulate your goals and practice expressing them confidently. This way, you'll reinforce your identity and set yourself up for success.

Here's to a year of achieving your aspirations!

Unpacking Wisdom is a weekly section in which I explore a famous (or not so famous) quote and how it applies to the Compelling Communicator.

I'm not sure why this quote leapt out at me today, but I do think it's a powerful idea to explore.

Now, it's somewhat controversial, particularly in today's climate because there seems to be a cultural shift where knowledge is considered less valuable or less important. This has happened a couple of times in the past, usually with communist regimes and things like that. But for whatever reason, that seems to be the case now.

I do believe that imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is important. A library without books is pointless. But it is the reader in the library that connects the ideas from the different books using their imagination. That is where the true power lies.

So, having an imagination is one thing. We can all daydream, but the power lies in using that imagination to solve problems or to communicate more effectively. If we're unable to use our imagination, it limits us.

We need imagination to find different methods to solve things, or to look at a tool and go, "Wow, what if I use that tool in a slightly different way? Can I do that?" And if I do use that tool for that particular purpose, is there a way I can change the tool or transform the tool to make it even better for this new purpose? That is all imagination.

And that is where I think Albert Einstein was going with his quote here.

Of course, it's important to remember that Einstein's theoretical physics came from his use of imagination—his mental, imaginative experiments, the thought experiments, which purely existed within the confines of his imagination. This led to several breakthroughs for him. So, that is more probably the context in which he gave this quote.

But I think it's important to consider it in the different contexts I've shared above as well. Let me know if you agree.

What I am up to this week…

Professionally:

Back to work at Epic Learning this week. We have a lot of challenging work on and I am already stressing about how much I have forgotten in the 2 weeks I had off!

Recreationally:

At the end of January, I am heading to Wellington to see my old Karate Instructor at a tournament there, and I will be catching up with family I haven’t seen in years.

What I am reading:

This year I will be doing a little more focus on serving Startup Founders, so I am going to be diving back into Blitzscaling by Reid Hoffman.

What I am watching:

I watched a lot over the break. I highly recommend the short series Hijack featuring Idris Elba and Day of the Jackal featuring Eddie Redmayne. I also finally saw Gladiator II last night. I definitely like it, and I love how it ties into the Russell Crowe Gladiator. My only criticism was the whole ‘sharks in the Colosseum’ thing…