Why Telling Stories is a Waste of Time

Words matter.

And the word tell is sometimes defined as:
To inform positively and with certainty and confidence.
Which I feel is very much a one-way conversation. It is the teacher or parent who ‘tells’ you something, and you better take on what they are saying. No discussion!

Why is this important?

To answer this, we must look at why we usually tell a story.

When telling a story, we are trying to engage with our audience. Sometimes it is purely with the goal of entertainment, to build our credibility or authority, and sometimes to influence the thinking or decisions of our audience. And most of the time, it is a bit of all these things.

So I contend that “Storytelling” is a misnomer and would be better described as Story-selling.

To be effective, you must sell your audience on your story. You must get your audience to buy into the vision or narrative you share with them. You cannot tell someone how to feel. You cannot tell them what to think.

If you don’t believe me, remember when your parents told you what or how to think, and recall your reaction to being told what to believe or do. If you are anything like me, there were probably times you offered little or no resistance but times that you drew a line in the sand. And those lines became more robust and more frequent as we grew older.

If your audience is adults, then you are, more often than not, talking to someone who has built up a shell protecting themselves from being told what they must think or do. If you don’t do it well, this can be a roadblock for your aspirations regarding what you are trying to do.

The challenge

This is the fundamental challenge and skill of a Compelling Communicator.

We see these Compelling Communicators throughout society in all sorts of roles. Usually, they are memorable; often, they are successful in their fields. Sometimes we are big fans; sometimes, we have the opposite reaction and can’t stand them (both are equally desirable).

If anyone thinks about this and rarely does, the common consensus is that this is a fundamental personality trait they were ‘born with’. I am happy to report that this is not the case.

Becoming a Compelling Communicator is a skill. A learnable skill. Like any learned skill, it will come easier to some than to others, but anyone can attain this skill to an adequate level of mastery.

The payoff

Why would you want to expend energy to acquire these skills?
This is a valid question. A Compelling Communicator has a head start to becoming what Daniel Priestly terms a Key Person of Influence (KPI). These people enjoy an out-sized share of the spending in their sphere of influence and often work together to consolidate their market position.

Simply communicating clearly, you can gain authority and credibility in the space. And therefore, you are more often sought after for your opinion or commentary on events in your area. You are offered opportunities to speak and collaborate with other luminaries in your space.

Myths

I want to dispel a couple of more myths about the Compelling Communicator. Most people think that oratory skills are necessary, but the truth is, while they can help and make things more accessible, they are not required.

This is because the overlooked first key to Story-selling is clearly and fully defining and refining your message. Getting clarity around your message, what you want to say and why. It is the fundamental first step of communication that is most frequently overlooked. Just taking the time to do this before you are in a position to speak or write will put you ahead of 80% of the people trying to communicate.

For over a decade, I have been coaching speakers, founders, and business people to help them create and present a more compelling message. And I spend A LOT of time going through this first Clarity step. -Much to the dismay of many of my clients.

The reason that this is so counter-intuitive is that it doesn’t feel like you are making progress. You do a lot of work in the clarity stage but don’t feel you have anything to show. You want the payoff of pages of notes or something you can physically show your spouse or colleagues to say that you are making progress.

Clarity

However, I can never express enough how essential it is to completely and thoroughly complete the Clarity step of the process. In fact, ‘Clarity’ is the first stage, the base, of my Pitching Pyramid. The visual representation shows that more work is don’t on this than on subsequent steps and that it is the foundation on which the others rest.

You may be asking what things need to be considered in this stage of crafting your message.

This Clarity stage can be broken into two parts:

• What you want

• What the audience wants/needs.

When considering what you want, you must be clear from the macro to the micro.

What are you trying to achieve as an overall goal?

• Is it a promotion?

• To sell some goods?

• To instigate a change?

• Then when you are clear on that, you must ask:

• How will this particular message move me toward that goal?

• What must it accomplish?

• How does it fit with the other efforts I am undertaking?

• What does a good result look like?

• What would a poor result be?

• How could I handle that negative result?

The key to Clarity is confronting and wrestling with the question ‘Why?’ at every stage. You are far more likely to succeed when you are clear about the ‘why’ in both strategic and tactical aspects.

The Pitching Pyramid

If you are interested, the Pitching Pyramid is my framework for creating talks and pitches and can be adapted for any communication. It has the following steps:

1. Clarity

2. Understanding your Audience

3. Your Audience Journey

4. Call to Action

5. Hook or Opening

6. Performance

7. Questions & Answers

So there we are, you have my thoughts on what a Compelling Communicator is. You know that I believe it is a learnable skill that anyone can achieve by following a specific framework. It does take work, but virtually anyone can achieve a level of competency. And you know why I think it is worth the effort.

But I am interested in what You think. Am I right? Am I wrong? Have I missed something you think is important? I would love it if you leave a comment using the link below.

And finally, I want to thank you for reading this. This is my first issue, and it means a lot that you took the time to read this. If you found this interesting, please consider forwarding this email to someone you think would also find it interesting, or use the recommendation button at the end of the page.

Snippets is a section where I take some interesting text I have come across in the previous week and comment on it.

This week’s Snippet is a little different from the norm, as I am using an image. The point I want to make with this Snippet is creating something new by combining two different ideas.

This image is part of the ‘Chips Shop Awards, ’ an online competition. This means that the entries are not official ads or memes, and it is unlikely that Guinness was aware of this particular image.

There are a couple of layers to this. First, the Good Things takes time text is a branded campaign that is familiar to many, and then it is applied to both the familiar Guinness brand and a current affair in the form of the coronation of King Charles. This is what makes the image stand out and makes it relevant in a contemporary moment.

Secondly, in the text post accompanying the image, they have linked the Coronation (a royal term) with the ad campaign’s silver jubilee (another royal term). -Guinness’s “Good Things take time” ad campaign is 25 years old.

They could have just mentioned that it is “the 25th anniversary of this ad campaign”, but it is much more powerful when referred to as the Silver Jubilee because of the Royal context of the image.

Unpacking Wisdom is a weekly section where I dive into a famous (or not so famous) quote and explore how this can apply to the Compelling Communicator.

This was the ideal quote for my first issue because it differentiates Compelling Communicators from people who merely ‘speak on stage’. Too many people assume that the transfer of knowledge is the key to a successful talk.

But consider your favourite TED talks. In that case, you will find that although information was exchanged, the real value in the talk is the context put around that information and the constructed frame that communicates why and how this is relevant to you as a viewer.

As I often state, information indicates one-way traffic. Communication indicates two-way traffic, even when the person speaks from the stage. This is made possible when the speaker takes on the audience’s concerns and point of view and articulates that well.